Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
the liver wants what the liver wants
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize