So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Randomize
