who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
