the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
