Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
