I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
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