Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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