is this the sara with the beer cane?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
