i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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