Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
