I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
