Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I skipped work to stalk him.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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