So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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