Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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