Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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