ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Randomize
