He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
