you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Randomize
