She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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