Christians are straight up FREAKS
return my video game
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
