yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
