I'm really into asian looking animals
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have fence marks all over my body
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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