I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
