I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
