Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
