yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
