Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize