I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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