If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize