and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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