You work out of a Hotel?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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