oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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