just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
