Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
