There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
