it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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