But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
