he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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