Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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