Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
