And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
