She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
