So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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