So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You made out with two different species that night
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
