Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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