I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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