hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
