matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
