If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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