Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
