I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
